Archive for the ‘shit’ Category
…was voyaging on the HMS Ark Royal, visiting the colonies, when some members of the ship’s crew managed to isolate the waste pipe servicing the toilet in her cabin. They then intercepted a large piece of faeces that the Princess had flushed, dried it out somehow and had it gold plated. To this day it sits in the officer’s mess trophy cabinet aboard HMS Ark Royal.
…the Queen was due to make a visit to Bradford. The council of the day decided to honour Her Majesty by gold plating the toilet in the town hall that had been set aside for her sole use (see below). However, it transpired that the Queen’s visit was cancelled at the last minute and the gold plating of the toilet was a pointless exercise after all. The golden toilet remains to this day in Bradford town hall.
…makes an official visit somewhere a toilet is set aside for her sole use, should she need it or not. Two footmen are sent ahead to check the privacy of the facilities. The test involves one man standing outside the door of the lavatory, listening intently, whilst the other drops a peeled banana into the lavatory bowl. Should the footman outside the door here a splash then the toliet is considered unsatisfactory for Her Majesty’s needs and another convenience must be found.
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